Amathoughts afresh: Siyabonga, 31 

I still remember the day I turned 29 – the first thing I did was start the official countdown to my 30th birthday.

I was so excited about finally reaching my 30s although I didn’t know what being in my third decade would mean, I just got excited at the thought of leaving behind my 20s and finally saying to people “I’m 30.” 

I think at the back of my mind I was looking forward to finally coming into my adulthood and settling into it. 

In my 20s I had met a woman who was 32 at the time and as I was lamenting relationship woes she told me that as a I get older, I’ll learn to deal with matters of the heart better. 

“Don’t worry Siya, by the time you reach my age, you’ll stop sweating the small stuff. The things you worry about so much now, won’t even matter hey.”

She was right. Although it wasn’t like some miraculous fairy godmother moment where I suddenly had this air of nonchalance about me but I’m slowly moving towards that.

I remember reading these funny lists that get circulated over the Internet about 30 things to do when you’re 30 or 30 things every 30-year old should know or 30 telltale signs that you’re 30 – I’d read them and think “I clearly have a long way to go” 

Then when I started chatting to people who were approaching or have already reached the 30 milestone, I realised that although these goals and achievements were a great way to map out the next steps of your life, don’t feel like an absolute failure if you don’t tick all the boxes. 

I’ve learned that if you don’t have the corner office, 4×4 or that estate property it’s ok. Still single with no children? That’s ok too. You’re still figuring out what your next move is because you’ve quit your job? Perfectly fine. 

Your 30s are not a destination, you’re still on your journey and this is just a stopover – enjoy it! 

Spotted this list that was shared by one of my friends on Facebook and I thought I’d go through it seeing as I’m 4 years away from 35:
  
1. It’s a struggle but it does help to actually have savings in your savings account! 
2. I’ve always thought it’s impossible because I’d decided that “you can’t control these things” then I realised that you always have a choice and being picky with who you spend your time with is totally justified! 

3. Tricky for me – I like my roommates mostly because we’re related! At this point I should own property but I don’t, so what? 

4. Thankfully I have never been encouraged to accumulate it so that’s one aspect I have handled! 

5. It was given to me 31 years ago and I’m still taking care of it! 

6. I thank God and the ancestors for the people I’ve had and still have in my life – they inspire me every single day.

7. See number 6.

8. A little bit of sexy never hurt anyone – B wasn’t lying about digging in the wardrobe for that freakum dress and killer heels. 

9. It’s not easy but it’s not impossible. I’ve also accepted that the child in me isn’t going anywhere either! 

10. Yes but don’t forget to live in the present because it’s what you have certainty of. 

What I’ve come to realise is that 30 isn’t a destination but a stop along the journey and I’m definitely enjoying it! 

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